Milemarker

Milemarker - March 6, 1999 at the Maummee House (2805 Maumme, Fort Wayne, Indiana 46803 (ten years ago!?!!!)
such a strange night.
more kids than ever came through our front and side doors than any other night; I'd like to say combined, but that would be a flat out lie. Anyway it was a lot of friends and strangers alike and it was a great, but albeit a short and awkward show.

Dave's (one of the singers and the guitar player) brother called me before they arrived, I am still unsure how he had my number, to inform me that Dave's Grandfather had passed away and I needed to tell Dave to come home immediately to be with the family.

Sometime later Milemarker pulled in and I had to be the messenger. I was a little bit unsure how to deliver the message, I would have been pretty upset by such news, and so I was even more awkward than I normally would have been.

I delivered the message and Dave was shaken, and had to figure out to get to a Kinko's to get on the internet - oh the days before internet was in every home. They played a rather short set. I was so stoked that I wanted to record their set, however I forgot to press record, and only captured the last 2 songs, they played a really short set as it was, I don't recall but it was probably about 20 minutes in total.
So these two songs (Battleship and Super Position) were recorded with 2 crappy microphones in our basement, but sound alright.

After the show Dave took off to the Kinko's and I attempted to interview the rest of Milemarker, but Al was more interested in hitting on one of my friends, Mary, and I wanted to keep the conversation light, in light of the message I had to deliver.
Al and I had gone back a few years, as I had seen Hellbender (of which he, and the drummer of Les Savy Fav were members of) on their first tour when I was in my early/mid teens in Findlay, Ohio - in fact I get confused if it was them or Laughing Hyenas that was my first show, as these two shows took place at the same venue within the same week. Chronology, whatever. Then I set up a show for Hellbender in Fort Wayne, I think in 1995, luckily for me Al called a few hours before the show and canceled as the venue backed out at the last minute, and I didn't know what I was doing yet. I also distributed their records to friends at lunch in high school, seeing as we didn't have a scene or shows to sell them at. Al and I also exchanged a few letters and phone calls. One time one of my checks bounced when I bought some records to distro. I saw Hellbender one other time in Kalamazoo, MI (which a live recording of I, Thermostat was on a comp). My sister, Chris (Lawhorn) and I drove up for that show, and picked up some kids that were lost looking for the venue that was named 31g. I saw quite a few good shows at that venue. And one last interaction between Al and I was when Cataract Falls played a show in Bloomington, IN the spring of 1998, and we were lost, so we drove by the house we had played previously the year before and there was Al sitting in the driveway. I was super fucking confused and asked him what we was doing there, and how strange to run into him, his new band, Milemarker was playing a show at that house. So we played our show and I ran across town to catch their set while the other members (james (had replaced stacey) and chris) slept from exhaustion. I was blown away. So I bought a few copies of their 7" to take home to give/sell to friends.
So a few months after this show/interview I picked up an issue of Punk Planet where Al was complaining about how people on the tour were not taking the band as serious as he wanted to, and sited our conversation in particular. Which resulted in some emails and he explained himself.

By far my most favorite of the shows we had (aside from the show Grapes of Wrath played and I rammed myself through a wall, and the last show we had when it was upstairs in the living room, instead of the confines of the basement). It was at this show that Al was the first person to compare DLA to 400 Years, and I thought that was a great compliment at the time. Other people would say it independently after this point as well.

Also, I hope you recognize that idiosyncratic trademarked yawn at the very end of the track Superposition.

Milemarker Live 3/6/99

last post of december/2008

I wanted to write a much more detailed post about the end of the year and all that this one entailed, which was a lot - but got distracted and decided I'd wait.

I sold the 8 track, and inherited a 4 track - so I started going through some of my tapes today.

I posted one song eddie and I recorded sometime in 2000/2001 on the message board.

then I got to the congress of the crow demo
I mean xcongressofthecrowx - we recorded 8 songs August 8, 2000. 8 - 8/8/∞
oh man. I haven't heard this since I mixed it back in August of 2000 (I'm assuming the same day that I recorded this on a 4 track).
unfortunately I lost the actual 4 track tape so we get the mixed down version, with tape warble and all.
the original cassette tape was 8 songs + the sample, which gets cut off on the tapes, but Jeremy insisted that we use it on the red heroine cd. I still don't know what movie it's from.
2 songs should be recognizable. and one other song is actually a "cover" (I don't know if that's really a cover, I wrote it) of a photograph to remember you by - the band Jarod, Jeremy, Adam and I were in at the end of 1997.

I remember recording these songs in my parent's basement, we would sneak all the equipment in while they were at work to practice and record, threaten my brother and sister not to tell on us and then leave. It worked for the entirety of the band.

Vocals were split up between the three of us, I'm mostly on the left and eddie and jeremy are mostly on the right, I think.

I couldn't scream that fast and I don't remember much of the lyrical content, so listening back to these, I am laughing at all of us!
Jeremy picked the song titles out from medical dictionaries. And for some reason put an Albert Camus quote in our linear notes - I'm pretty sure he's never read any Albert Camus outside of one-liners, and other quoted passages. "A profound thought is a constant process of becoming." which is actually a misquote as it should be - "A profound thought is in a constant process of becoming."

tracks 8+9 are from an earlier demo session/practice, I don't remember when it happened.
I don't know the song title to one song, and the other one Jeremy yells it out before we play it.
I don't really remember why or how it happened but by november we had recruited John Cheesebrew to sing for us, and resulted in the name change. I spoke of this in an earlier post. I think the practice space may have played a small part in this decision.

now that I think about it, it's possible the 8 songs were recorded on John McCormick's digital 8 track, but I don't think so - but that would explain why I don't have the original tracks/tapes - it's possible they are in my missing fire proof safe - which holds all the original recording sessions for a few bands, the test presses of all the records, and some other things, that I can't remember.

anyway, here's the demo + 2 bonus tracks.


I don't know why I haven't posted this before.
Dead Letter Auction recorded 5 songs in September 2003 with Mike Lust in Chicago at Phantom Manor.
We never released these songs, though they are floating around on the internets and stuff.
I think we didn't release them in part because Chris broke up the band again, by moving someplace silly - recording/engineering school in Phoenix, maybe? and then John got himself a family and all that - so we couldn't tour on the ep.
The bridge and the message were written with the intention of being on a split 7" with Ten Grand - that didn't happen because Matt passed away.
We wrote a few more songs and decided to record them all before Chris left us. Actually a part of the song [the Morrow] has a song that sounds an awful lot like a Ten Grand part (my guitar on the intro), and in part [the Mourning] was written for Matt, among other people and things. so this last ep was shaped very much by that.
all songs are titled with a "the" intentionally, with the last 4 being "the M_______" also intentionally.
these songs weren't exactly finished when we entered the studio. I didn't have the words written for one song, and the other I had never really sang, or even worked out the phrasing for the second half.
I love these songs a lot, and I think they showed a real promising direction that we were heading. Lyrics really sum up everything I was feeling at the time and was a perfect reflection of that specific moment as well as the band.

Dead Letter Auction - the Bridge

I found a bunch of old DLA things with some really interesting early versions of songs and such. I'm hoping to find some of the songs we didn't record in the studio. I found a tape from August 2001, I forgot that we actually had cancer of time, foreshadow, and excise written before we recorded vertigo. I knew foreshadow was that old, because the words "I want to see their buildings lay down" became an issue when 9/11 happened. anyway, these songs and things will probably get posted sometime next year.

also, I messed up January by posting 13 posts instead of just 1 -
and August I only posted 3 posts, instead of 8. but who's really counting?

last post of 2008.

what an interesting last couple of days.
I was stationed at a friend's, house/dog sitting. I watched a lot of movies and read The Cambridge Introduction to Foucault in one sitting. I'm really into this series, the Benjamin one was great and even covered some stuff I wasn't aware of. With Foucault, I'm at least familiar with all the works looked at, and enjoy having these shorter overviews. It did make me realize I need to re-read the History of Sexuality. I still standby my earlier disappointment in that it doesn't look at the ethical relationship in the other, or the partner, the emotional effects, and doesn't count for love all that much. Overall I think this reflects what I feel is just one of the selfish motivations Foucault had in writing The History of Sexuality, another being due to his sexual preference. I think I am becoming more and more disappointed in Foucault the more I look at him, and his delivery of ideas, critically. Mostly in the fact that he tends to make up a lot of his "facts" and seems to be self serving. Apparently he's more of a smartass than can be translated from French to English, which would be redeeming, however only slightly. I think, again, what attracts me to him, is his change at the end of his life, where he did become more interested in the ethics of the care of the self, an unfortunate death leads us to wonder where he would have gone with those ideas. His work is still very important, and very much needed, and did make many advancements in the fields of social science and thought. I don't mean to focus on the negative here, as he is a major influence, and will continue to be so...

One of the movies I watched, Man on Wire, had music by Michael Nyman, and I was fairly disappointed with his recycling of themes, melodies, and parts of the Gattaca soundtrack, which I mentioned a few posts back. I was so taken by hearing the music that I had to pause the movie to look up who did the soundtrack, to confirm my suspicion. At first I thought it was really cool, but along the way got somewhat annoyed by what is nearly a remix of the songs. The movie looks at Philippe Petit, a tightrope walker and street performer, who tight rope walked the Twin Towers.

Friday night, a cab driver asked me where I was going, before I answered he said, wherever it is, I'll take you for $6. I was going home, and this was at least 1/2 of what it had been, I wasn't looking for a cab, but am always up for an adventure, something told me I'd be in for one. To further justify this, my metrocard had expired, so I would have had to buy a new one. I wish I wanted to go somewhere else, but after being stationed at the other house, I actually wanted to return, to shower, shave, sleep in my bed, see my things. Oddly enough, the cab driver had to be in my area to pick up his wife shortly, and had time to kill. He knew my neighborhood well, and I didn't have to give him directions - when I first moved out here, I didn't know how to get home, and the cab drivers would always get so mad at me. I now know how to get home from just about any point in the city and don't have to tell the drivers how to get there. Occasionally one will tell me a different way to get home, which is always useful. Anyway, this cab driver is Pastor Pete, and he says he's "Rolling for Jesus" in an attempt to get people out of the churches and in a meaningful relationship with God. He collects food from restaurants and bakeries and gives it to homeless people. He has had a few documentaries made about him, and had been in other movies as well. He gave me his number and told me to call him if I ever needed anything. I noticed a small camera on the windshield filming the backseat, but didn't inquire why, I assume it's for protection, and so on. He told me a few stories about how he's talked people from jumping off the bridge, "the bridge will be there in a month from now, let's talk about it, give me a month." and other things, including falling outs with people involved in one of the movies he was in - essentially a crazy jew out to make money - which made me laugh at his fake accent and stereotyping.

Saturday I saw the roadshow version of Che (the two films, The Argentine and Guerrilla) by Steven Soderbergh. It ran 4 hours and 17 minutes, with an intermission (during which I played phone tag) adding roughly 20 more minutes. Soderbergh was there in person the night before, had I known, I would have definitely gone to that one, but I would have missed out on the cab ride. The movie was amazing, of course. Benicio again turns in an amazing performance, easily one of the best actors of all time, not just in his acting, but what he brings to the movies in terms of ideas and how he shapes the movie. I make note of the car chase scene in Way of the Gun, as that was his idea, and wasn't in the script. The two movies serve as a dichotomy of the success of the Cuban Revolution and the failure of his time in Bolivia - which led to his execution. I highly recommend seeing them both. I have an extra program if anyone is interested. It's really just the credits and some photos/stills from the movie. The roadshow version didn't include credits, I'm assuming to cut down on time.

at some point in the night, KXLU broadcast Drowning With Our Anchors and Portraits of Past playing from The Smell. It was the first remote broadcast, and there were some issues with the streaming. Both bands certainly didn't turn in their best sets, and the whole reason I was excited to hear the show was at the prospect of the possibility of hearing new songs. Drowning didn't play any new songs, and KXLU had a change of program, so the broadcast was cut short, and the listeners didn't hear all of the Portraits of Past set. I recorded it, but it's unlistenable, with the stuttering stream, and the audio mix.

Now it's Sunday, I'm about to go ice skating with the girl I babysat fall 2007- spring 2008, which ended due to her moving to Kansas. It's currently 64 and grey, how I recall the weather being most of the time we spent together, so it's fitting.

Also in closing, I want to leave with 2 notes one on the successful student sit in at the New School - which you can read about here - www.newschoolinexile.com -
and lastly, in the Cambridge Introduction to Michel Foucault, Lisa Downings refers to a passage by Nietzsche in which she says he plays the part of evangelist, turning the tables on Christians using their method of "fire and brimstone" to deliver the following:
"I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great innermost corruption, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means is poisonous, stealthy, subterranean, small enough - I call it the one immortal blemish of mankind." - Nietzsche - The Antichrist - [pg 656 - The Portable Nietzsche].
I am not sure if I agree with her, as that being his intention, of if he actually meant it, either way, I mean it wholeheartedly.

the end of the semester is (almost) here

...I just have to turn some stuff in at 9am tomorrow. I'm probably going to stay up. Then I have my German final on Tuesday - seemingly very late, considering the next day is Christmas eve. Only one class has been posted so far, and I got an A, not an A-, so that's at least 2. I was terrible this semester and didn't really deserve those 2 A's. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get A's in the other classes, but I was expecting that, we'll see sometime next week or so.

Now it's time to look for a new job, and clean and organize my room again. Hopefully work on some things I haven't had time to do, I'll use the due to school excuse, but there's really no reason I can't handle school, work, extracurricular studies, bands, AND hanging out, but I sometimes don't even get out of bed, because I am overwhelmed with just the prospect of getting dressed. I am extremely anxious for the departure of current roommates and the arrival of the new ones. I am going to finally have a party after Alex arrives.

I bought my tickets for Hawaii, I'll be there February 4-8th. It was only $400 round trip, and yes it's short, but I don't want to miss a lot of school like I did at the start of this semester with our reunion shows and the visitors and all. I think I'm going to Vegas the 12th-16th (also in February) cause I have a break, it really depends on a job. I'm thinking about spring break already. It's kinda long, April 8-April 19th (the 20th being Monday + my birthday), I don't know what I want to do. I'd like to spend time with friends again, but I should probably work as much as I can so I can have more money to spend in Japan on sake.

No summer classes. I am not doing the Berlin program after all. So that means I'll be working in New Hampshire in August, and then I start on my teaching degree at Hunter, barring some major change in plans, or what have you.

New bands still haven't done anything due to cancellations and schedule conflicts. At some point in the winter/early spring Jarod is coming to NYC and we're recording Tarpit for the comp. I'd like him to play on Kracked with me as well, but we'll see. I have some pretty cool artwork ideas for it that are based on Maura Jaspers original cover for "you're living all over me" - I only need two more songs, and I have 2 bands that haven't officially committed to it yet, so I hope they end up saying yes and agreeing to those songs. I'm pretty excited about this. Actually, in label news, I haven't heard from Jarod in a while, so I don't know what the deal is. We wanted to have Morrow's record out by now. I was discussing with jmc that I think it was silly of me to relaunch the site when I did, and it was an impulsive decision. Maybe I'll spend some time on that in between now and the end of January.

I'm going to go read books I don't really understand.

everyone loves a good redscare

for some reason, I got distracted last night and eventually found myself reading comments posted in response to news items on cnn.com. I would say in the 80% range of all posts, there are huge grammatical mistakes (I know, who am I to speak of such things, I am well aware of my own), completely uneducated rants, people still holding on to dead ideas that are obviously not working, desperate attempts to get in touch with people for jobs, or just to be heard. All of this is heartbreaking and leaves me feeling hopeless and depressed. It makes me want to set fire to almost all of these individuals, one in particular blamed the failing of "the big three" automakers on a lack of patriotism: "buy American" - I wonder if he realized that they import more parts from foreign countries than toyota or honda do, so in fact it doesn't matter who you are buying from. Never mind the fact that we are a global community etc, and that this situation is affecting the entire world, not just Americans. Ignore that the American Way is the cause of this mess. It is the American influence on these other countries that is also the impetus of a world collapse.

I am slightly intrigued, perhaps even obsessed by the year 1968. At a future time I will explore this further. The civil right's movement, Black Panthers, the RAF, the SDS, student and workers revolts all over the entire world, Kommune 1, the environmental movement, the Weather Underground (though they began in 1969, however they embody the spirit of '68), and so on. What happened? Where has that level of involvement gone? Is it a matter of intelligence, time, care, selfishness, or what? I keep coming back to my naive 14 year old self, the brink of discovery of the more political punk, the believing in the revolution.

again, I will return someday to expand or come as close to completion as I can.

Degas to Mallarmè

Edgar Degas: "What a task!... I've spent the whole day long on one of these blessed sonnets and I've made no progress whatsoever... And yet I'm hardly lacking in ideas... I'm quite full of them... I've got too many in fact."

Stéphane Mallarmé: "But my dear Degas, one does not make poetry out of ideas, but out of words."

New Year's Resolution

Stop living life and doing things as if it were a demo.
Some mistakes can never be recovered, more often than not, there are no do overs. So, make it count.
"Each step forward is the last, and with it a world dies - one's self included..."

Despite redemption being a major precept of Judaism, and most Abrahamic based religions, even further, common sense and forgiveness, we are stubborn, not easily able to forget.

I find that I have approached nearly every thing I have ever done as something I will return to to make better or right, or to expand the endeavor at another point in time. To count on an uncertainty.
I am all intention left unsatisfied.